Distraction-free drinking

I used to wait tables at a local Italian joint. The place is no longer open and I can't help thinking its closing had a little something to do with the two always-on flat-screens slung above the bar. The number-one complaint I received during my table-waiting days was always in regard to those pesky TVs, which cranked out an endless stream of outdated music videos. Inspired by those patrons who preferred to focus on their meals rather than Sheryl Crow's mug, I set out to find a few Chicago spots without screens.

Violet Hour
Distractions are a thing of the past at this new-age speakeasy. Violet Hour takes its lack of televisions to the extreme by tacking on a no-standing, no-cell phone policy. And then there are sleek, teal, high-backed chairs that dull the sounds of surrounding chatter. Focusing on your company and cocktails here is easy, unless you're parked at the bar—as you should be, if it's your first time. Watching Violet Hour's mixologists in action is a must. These guys are the real deal with their to-the-count shakes, stoic expressions, the ability to make everything you've never heard of and the genius to put new spins on your favorites. Oh, and did I mention that they do it all on the fly, in strapping suspenders?

California Clipper
There's plenty of fun to be had at this classic cocktail lounge, none of which involves the playoffs or bad B-sides. Fridays and Saturdays reel in local music junkies with live entertainment from bands like The Hoyle Brothers, Fulton County Line and The Blue Line Riders. Mondays are especially interactive (and competitive) with Clipper Bingo, beginning at 9:30 p.m. If you're lucky, you might even win a trinket-stuffed "Bag of Crap", straight from Uncle Fun, whose fine goods are purportedly "designed to restore the whimsical nature with which you arrived on this planet."

Duke of Perth
Should Duke of Perth ever decide to install a telly, its loyal patrons likely wouldn't notice. They'd be far too busy downing whiskey and noshing on European fare. The pub's extensive malt list alone makes for solid reading material and its trio of Glens is more than enough to keep you entertained all night. The chill crowd of regulars and authentic Scottish vibe has made the Duke a Lakeview staple for more than fifteen years. Though it seems the real draw here isn't in the whiskey, beer or atmosphere so much as it is the fish and chips. And you can have all you want of the pub's favorite dish on Wednesdays and Fridays during the all-you-can-eat special.

Hopleaf
Hopleaf couldn't place a television in its intricately crafted bar if it tried, because there'd be no room for it. The restaurant's walls are already stacked and lined with bottles upon bottles of Belgium brews, and that's about all it takes to keep the crowd here pleased. It doesn't hurt that the food is just as good as the beer. Start with the popular mussels and then move on to something extremely unhealthy with the CB n' J (that's cashew butter) or sink your chomps into the restaurant's steak and frites.

Long Room
If Long Room isn't already on your list of favorite Chicago bars, you've clearly never been. But that's OK, there's no finger-pointing here; it's not the easiest to find. Here's a quick tip for next time, though: look for Popeye's on the corner of Irving Park and Ashland. You might even want to stop in and grab a small tub of death, as Long Room doesn't have a kitchen. It does, however, have frequent visits from Chicago's beloved tamale guys. It's also got a stellar rotating selection of beers on tap and local, imported and domestic brews by the bottle. The crowd here is a mix of young professionals and seasoned cats. A photo booth in the bar's back room is the closest thing to a TV you'll find.

This article was first published on Centerstagechicago in a slightly different form
Photo courtesy of Violet Hour

Flourish

I stumbled upon this Edgewater bakery a few weeks ago on my way to Metropolis, and finally decided to give it a try. Painted in pastels and adorned with retro kitchen gear, stepping into Flourish was like entering a Brady Bunch re-run. And when I saw the cases neatly lined with rows upon rows of enticing pastries, I was just as giddy as Marcia that time Davey Jones asked her to the prom.

Flourish's old-school charm filled me with the hopeful assumption that indulging in the goods here would spark a similarly sweet nostalgia to those evenings spent in my grandmother's kitchen--always redolent of some just-baked butter-slathered treat. There was only one problem; how was I supposed to choose just one thing?

Seeing as it was still breakfast time, I ruled out cakes, cookies and brownies (not that these have never found their way into my morning routine). Muffins are easy to come by, so those were out too. At this point it was a toss up between a hearty chunk of monkey bread or a cinnamon roll as big as my face. I flirted with the idea of ordering both, but quickly nixed that after calculating how much time I would have to put in at the gym. Figuring that monkey bread is more of a rare treat (unless of course you live in Texas), I settled on that. And then the chipper man behind the counter said what'll it be? And I hesitated. Of course, I, hesitated.

I have become one of those annoying ladies who holds up the line and rides the very last nerve of servers everywhere because of my own indecision with food. This was never a problem until I experienced entree envy that time at Hopleaf when Laura ordered the CB&J and I was left poking around some glorified lettuce leaves. One bite of her sandwich and I was ruined. I'm so worried now that I'm going to regret my order (even when I'm not aboard the health-conscious train). So worried in fact, that I need my server to double as a nursing mother who reassures me that I have indeed made a good choice--and that, yes, it's all going to work out for the best.

So after asking the patient Flourish pastry man which of the two he would pick, he responded, today, I would definitely go for the cinnamon roll. And so I did. Flakey dough covered in earthy flecks of cinnamon and topped with thick swirls of creamy icing-- it was a satisfying start to the morning. That is until I spent the rest of the day wondering, what if I had gone with the monkey bread? Would I have been happier?

(I'll keep you posted-- I'm planning another trip next week. And this time I'm leaving hesitation at home.)

Flourish Bakery Cafe
1138 W. Bryn Mawr Ave.
(773) 271-2253

Stinky Little Toasts

OK, so my good friend Laura mocked me for this concoction, but I'm sharing it anyway because it's that good. These little "sandwiches" are a spin on my (and Laura's) favorite dish at Hopleaf, where we typically have to wait 2 solid hours for a table. Thankfully there are enough varities of Belgium brews here to keep us entertained.

By the time we are finally seated at Hopleaf, we're more than a little flushed and we don't even care that it takes a few flights of stairs to find the washroom or that the tables are crammed together like a traffic jam on Lakeshore Drive. None of this matters because we know we're only moments away from the CB&J sandwich-- undoubtedly the most comforting plate of food in Chicago

Think peanut butter and jelly on crack; a hearty slab of cashew butter followed by fig preserves and a thick slice of melty morbier cheese on toasted bread. This warm gooey delight is served up with a side of stilton mac n' cheese and homemade chips. No doubt, it's a heart attack in waiting, but I promise you'll still be grinning after the convulsions.

I told Laura that I wanted to make this in my own kitchen and she advised me not to mess with a good thing. But I rarely heed warnings.

Stinky little toasts

• Mini toasts: 1 package
• Cashew butter: 1.5 tsp. per toast
• Stonewall Fig & Ginger preserves: .5-1 tsp. per toast
• This was ungodly difficult to find. After searching forever for straight up fig preserves, I finally got this spread at Binny's. It can also be ordered from Stonewalls website.
  
• Stilton cheese: as many stinky crumbles as you see fit

Spread cashew butter on toast, follow with fig & ginger preserves. Top it all off with the wretched little crumbles.

These work great as hors d'oeuvres. Prepare and refrigerate a few hours before your guests arrive, just be sure to let them temp before serving in order to get the full pungent flavor of the stilton.